Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category

Career Meltdown Month

Monday, August 16th, 2010

There is something about July I’ve noted over the years. In June my practice slows and there are not many new clients calling. I know that in July things will pick up. This year was no exception. This period typically lasts about 6 weeks. Once school starts client meltdowns are less frequent.

Many in the work place have had the feeling of being under siege. Your values, your mind, your physiology are ignored by an unfeeling employer in the guise of a boss or corporation. This feeling may be felt in the pit of your stomach – a recent client told me it felt like when his father passed away. He was missing something. He is missing something – his sense of identity. It’s just a feeling. Our feelings, however, can highjack us in many dysfunctional ways.  Is it, “I’m hot and crabby.”?  Often within 3 to 5 minutes or immediately the person is in tears. “I can’t take it I’m going to quit.  Help me.”  These are wise people – they reach out before they commit career hari-kari.

I call this monkey brain syndrome – it’s the fight-flight response. When our identity system is under attack the rational brain shuts down and our brain reverts back to basics. I believe this is called the sympathetic nervous system which is controlled by the hypothalamus, in close association with the limbic system of the brain. I’m not a scientist by trade; however I am a highly trained observer of human behavior.

So the monkey brain kicks in and the distressed caller says either “If I don’t leave here soon – I may kill my boss” or “I feel like I’m dying and if I don’t get out of here soon I will…..” You have called the right place. I can help you. First- promise you won’t make any decisions or take any actions while you are in this frame of mind.

The last few weeks have given us tragic examples of career meltdown. Eight people were killed in Connecticut by an employee who was being fired for stealing. The current celebrity of the moment is the Jet Blue flight attendant who took flight (literally) by deploying the emergency slide. Fight or flight – there is a better way.

Utilizing a series of techniques including Mind-Body Bridging; career analysis and review I’m happy to report many of my clients are back to fully functioning human beings in weeks if not days. When the “rational” employee is back, you may then choose to make your exit or discover that it was a momentary mind collapse and that you actually have the perfect job. A change in perspective was all that was needed.

I recently asked some of my clients from the past few years to tell me what prompted them to call me in July. Client Margaret (named changed) told me she was sitting in her office one hot evening. She was frustrated as she wanted to be off with her two boys and husband who were out having some fun. She was overwhelmed and her brain wasn’t functioning. She typed into her web browsers the words: “work, overwhelm, tired, career help, Utah” and bingo there was What’s Working Well?™. She shot me off an email, I phoned her. Three years later she has successfully sold her small business and has accepted a new leadership role. Now there is a wise woman – she wasn’t feeling that way when she first called – but it was just a feeling. She’s a fully functioning, creative, resourceful and happy person.

You too are creative, resourceful and a fully functioning human being. Give me a call.

Coaching-Lessons from the Winter Olympics

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

I’ve been obsessively watching the Olympics the last 10 days. In addition to the athletes, I’ve been watching the coaches and sometimes, teams of coaches. Watching the figure skaters and their relationships with the coach or coaches, I began to reflect on my own coaching relationships.

The coach stands on the sideline – holding his breath – will he make this jump – will she exceed her personal best? The coach sees the potential his or her protégée cannot yet see and holds the space for the client’s highest potential. As a coach, I fall in love with all my clients. When my clients open up and allow me to see who they are, I can see each one’s full potential – I believe before a client ever can.

The coach is human, as I was reminded by the speed skater from Holland, who was directed to change lanes by his coach, and he was disqualified from the Gold Medal. My motto is “Do no harm” – however, my best intention may not be right. I’m reminded that I have learned much from the adverse situations and mistakes I have made, as well as those I have affiliated with. The ability to forgive, learn, and adapt can be lessons a coach may give.

What is the role of the career or life coach?

I am sharing my own learning and assisting others through different coaching techniques. I can assist an individual in clarifying who she is, his impact in the workplace, and possible next steps to personal success.

A perfect time to call a career coach is when a career is in crisis. When someone feels ready to implode, don’t quit. Call a coach! I have successfully helped clients dissect the situation and develop an action plan to overcome the emotions of the moment and successfully handle the political minefield of Corporate America. I’m not performing, but I’m brushing off the client and sending them back in the game ready to assist with feedback and discuss strategies. My clients’ success and failures are my own.

The coaches at the Olympics are athletes who have often experienced the exact situation their protégés are currently experiencing. I can also provide a “been there done that” perspective. My understanding of adult development and behavior at work can assist clients, as I have been in the arena myself. I often tell people my clients have taught me much of what works. I’m a better coach today from the years of experiences I have had with my hundreds of clients.

The coach/client relationship is a unique and special relationship. In your life you will have an opportunity to coach and mentor, as well as be coached and mentored. Choose wisely, because as the player, you are ultimately responsible for your performance. As a coach, I also choose wisely. Over my career I can tell fairly quickly if someone is a client. The hardest thing for me is when he or she doesn’t recognize or is unwilling to take the chance.

In the coach/client relationship, like all others, feedback is key. What works for one client may not work for another. Coaches are human. We aren’t perfect but strive, like you, toward our full potential.

Are you “Up in the Air”?

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

I recently saw “Up in the Air” a movie about a man who tells people they are fired for a living.  This is not dissimilar to the myriad of roles I have played in my own career.  In my current life as an outplacement career coach I confront the angst and fear clients feel as they step into the abyss of unemployment.  My job is to assist the willing through the “valley of darkness”.  I have assisted hundreds of client through this place and I know life on the other side can be so much more than you can imagine in this moment. In one scene, Clooney speaks with a very upset 50 something man who is anguishing about how his children will perceive him as a failure.  Clooney’s character asks him, “When did you give up your dream?” The employee looks at him aghast like he is crazy.  “I see here you minored in French cooking. When did you give up on that dream?” The client wakes up and recognizes,” When I was 23 for $25k.”  I have had these incredible moments with my own clients when they wake up and realize yes I’m in the right job or no it’s time to go back and rediscover the self I left behind. What are you dreaming about?

Be Seen

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

I saw Avatar in 3D the other night. The greeting used on Pandora is, “I see you”. Yes it might be a cliché, however, I realized when my clients allow themselves to “be seen” it allows for an awakening of the “true self”. Once we get to the point of trust and safety, clients open up and reveal their truth. What I’ve learned over the years is the importance of building on core strengths. Creating an “I am” statement is so powerful. Claiming what you “like” and what comes “easy” for you, creates a remarkable energy and message. Simple and effective – When I repeat this message to myself and others, people understand how I can help. I am a transformer who accesses individual and company truths to create work that works. We are all unique and possess special gifts to share with the world. If you hide them from yourself and others because you don’t deem them “valuable” you withhold your highest potential. To my teachers/clients; The Wagon Master; The Remodeler; Mr. Fix It; Glenda the Good Witch; The Implementer; Socrates; Radar; The Organizer;…Thank you for being seen and sharing your gifts, you inspire and teach me.

Who Are You?

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Imagine the frustration of a recruiter or hiring manager when you can’t describe who you are.  Telling someone who you are is not the list of tasks you have done for the last 20 years nor your job titles.

“I am” statements are powerful because they declare the needs of the world you are moved to meet.

Reflect on the recent election. John McCain’s statement? “I am a Maverick.” Barack Obama’s?  “I am Hope. ” His campaign’s “Yes we can.” 

Last weekend as I reflected on the Easter message, I was reminded of the “I am statements” which Jesus used in his teachings.  “I am the light of the world.” “I am the door to eternal life.”

Bold. Clear. Concise. Undeniable.

Declaring who you are when it doesn’t align with what others have prescribed for you can be scary.  In the words of the Dixie Chicks, “It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself.” Perhaps the death of who you or others thought you are is what makes this all so risky, but risk brings rewards.

Declare who you are. Let go of self deprecating behavior. Bravely embrace your “I am-ness” and step away from the other identities that are no longer serving your highest interests. Therein lays the power. It is also very helpful for those around you that want to help you find your next position. The death of who you are not can precipitate the life of who you are.

Yes, this is marketing and I get impatient with people who want me to figure it out for them. Recently a client said to me, “They should know, I’ve worked here for 10 years.” Another client said that he had everything on his resume and “shouldn’t they be able to figure it out?”  Well… no! It is all about what you do, what you will do, and what is the best fit for you. They don’t know until you tell them.

I am currently working with a client who describes himself as an implementer.  He will take a goal, develop action plans, order supplies, organize the people, and drive towards successful implementations.

Can you see how easy it to fit this person into an organization?  Who doesn’t need an implementer?  Any business could use his expertise. So we have the first part of his marketing plan.  Now what type of industry or company would he like to work in?  Developing the target market and companies will help him as he networks his way to the next position.  Now if he is offered a job that is not implementer work, he will pass knowing it is someone else’s job.

My key “ I am” statement is: “I am a transformer – I assist individuals and companies in rediscovering who they are and their impact on their customers.  I transform their own information back to them in a way that allows them to embrace and tell others who they are.  I am also a mentor and teacher aligning closely with the previous statement.

I want to thank the Coach Training Institute for introducing me to this concept.  My “I am” was developed during my coach training and I have refined my thinking about the power of declaring over the years.  I believe this is the single most effective exercise for helping individuals and organizations to wake up and consciously create work that works.

What impact do you have in your world? What is your “I am” statement?