Oprah is now “leaving the building”. She has a huge global fan base, a large staff and a studio which she has supported for 25 years. She defined her purpose early in her career and became a force for positive change in the world. Oprah is a teacher that inspires others to make positive changes in their lives.
Yet only 5 years ago, she publically struggled with her impending retirement. You could see it in her face. Something happens to a person’s eyes when he or she descends into RIP- “retired in place”. Over the years, I learned how to predict who would quit, die or get fired. It was the RIP in his or her eyes.
Through a self renewal process, Oprah committed herself to 5 more years. She set her sights on retiring at 25 years and she’s doing it. Sadness and disbelief have descended upon her fans. “What are we going to do without Oprah?” She will move on now to other creative endeavors and her success or failure like so many other cultural icons will be measured against her past. Comparing is never a good thing and in spite of comparisons yet untold, Oprah will renew herself and her life.
This renewal process is the same for all of us. Career transition is essential when work isn’t working anymore. Often my clients express frustration and feel drained. The recognition of what the client thought he or she would, should, or could be – doesn’t match the realities of life on the job . These feelings push people to make changes or for some to start medicating to numb out the disappointment. You can choose to embrace these feelings or you can avoid them with drugs, alcohol, religion, illness and any number of other remedies.
What’s wrong? People want to do something different and yet they are held in place by the expectations of self and others. “My wife and kids rely on me.” “ I have no choice.” “I don’t like it –I want it to stop.” This is when people do crazy things to make it stop.
RIP – (Retired in Place) AKA a dead on the job mindset – “I’ll just hang out here, disconnect; no one will notice that I’m only a placeholder”, becomes a self-made “hell”, more comfortable than the unknowable future. Realize that this withered state exists because you let it. At the extreme, a person becomes very ill or even dies when he or she senses the kicking of that unborn self. The discomfort increases until he or she can no longer deny it and will go to any length to relieve the pain.
Career re-invention requires letting go of your current identity no matter who is trying to prevent you from changing. Most of us are motivated to change by discomfort. Having the courage to move away from the status quo and into new territory propels you.
Creating a statement of desire – “This is what I want”, is very powerful. I have used the visioning process successfully in my Career Coaching practice for years. I confess that I don’t know why it works, but it works. I recently took a “creating” course and read Robert Fritz’s book , “Your Life as Art”. In it, he tells us that by creating the desired state and visualizing it we clarify what it is that we truly want. The discrepancy between what we want and our current state creates a constructive tension that pulls us toward our desire.
Going through a life transition can be exciting and fun; it can also be terrifying. Letting go of your former self is an essential step before the new self can take shape within the void. I call the void “The Valley of Darkness”. The Valley is not a place to hang out indefinitely; just keep going and you will see the shape of things to come soon enough.
Oprah is showing us a healthy way to move on. Accept the love and admiration, enjoy the good-byes and cry. Know that the small voice that is pushing you won’t let up. No amount of numbing will stop it. It is scary…but you’ve done this before. Self-renewal is essential for tapping into the energy of your life.
Look for those who have reinvented themselves, reenergized and ask them how they did it. We are all around you. A career life coach can support you through this journey.
If you’re ready to start the reinvention process contact Mary Cosgrove regarding her upcoming Career Strategies workshop starting in June.