Repost from March, 2013
Examining the Value of SPACE – SPACE the stealth value
I pick up the phone: Hello?
Caller: I’m calling because:
I’m frustrated or angry and I’m not sure why.
I didn’t think my life would turn out like this.
Is this all there is, for my work/life?
If only I had the time to…
Work out, go to college, look for a new job.
If my house, desk, office was better organized I would…
Work out, look for a new job, start writing, painting.
People don’t call a career coach when they are happy. Often after an initial coaching session it’s clear the client needs space to change. He will often insist on listing all the evidence about why he can’t possibly change (see above list). What he hasn’t grasped yet is that once he has taken a few transformational steps it’s impossible to go back.
Change can be aborted. Creativity can be aborted. However, restoring ignorant bliss is not going to happen. The frustration that led her to embark into a coaching relationship is from an inner-knowing that is encouraging her to seek answers. Or an outer force of “circumstances” has forced her to move from her current life situation.
This is the point at which the value of SPACE becomes crucial. Your relationship to SPACE can take on many forms, some are known and some are not. Some are pleasant and some not pleasant.
Here are some examples:
- Holding on to a job as an “excuse” to create a buffer from overwhelming family requirements.
- Postponing looking for a job or changing your life until:
- You remodel the laundry room
- Your kids move out and you can create your own office
- You get more organized
- Moving to the countryside – abandoning the pace of city life – when I’m retired.
- Connecting 24/7 to avoid your “fear” of not knowing something.
- Being available and at work even when you’re not mentally available.
- Taking time for dreaming, thinking, reading, or writing
- Disconnecting on vacation –stepping off the grid
- Spending time in nature - clinically proven to improve cognitive creative functions in the brain.
- Feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.
- Listening to endless internal chatter, losing sleep at night.
- Thinking about family at work and work when you are with family.
- Praying, breathing and meditating.
- Maintaining daily or weekly rituals that promote space to be with your source.
- Asking, “What went well today?What do I intend to create today?”
Space confines also. Holding on to space that no longer serves your highest potential:
- A house of memories or failed possibilities
- Staying with a bully boss or an abusive corporate culture for fear there is nothing better or I will lose it all. (Golden Handcuffs)
- Know it’s time to leave a relationship and not for a myriad of excuses
- We have always done X and will regardless of the physical and emotional strain it creates.
Ask yourself this question: What am I frustrated with right now? What was I expecting to happen? Be as specific as possible. Now give yourself some space. Listen to the background noise, feel gravity on your body even say to yourself I’m allowing space for this to be. Go for a walk, spend time in nature. Ask for the answer to come into your conscious mind. The answer is within pay attention the answer will come.
Here is blog post from Kinde Nebeker on a similar topic: http://www.newmoonritesofpassage.com/importedblog/clearing